1
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:40,437
Ripped By mstoll
2
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,071
'Ere, Mungo, he's dead!
3
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,106
Course he's dead. He's
just been viciously and
4
00:01:50,118 --> 00:01:53,116
gratuitously stabbed by
an unknown assailant.
5
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:56,391
Yeah, but you didn't have
to use my knife, did you?
6
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,795
I mean, what happens if
someone walks in here?
7
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,831
What happens if Badvoc walks in?
8
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,927
He'll take one look at me with a
9
00:02:02,939 --> 00:02:04,998
blood-stained dagger,
dead Roman at me feet,
10
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,077
and he'll say, "Blag, why
did you kill that Roman?"
11
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,111
Blag, why did you
kill that Roman?
12
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,196
I was just saying -
13
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,231
Shut up, Blag... Mungo,
what's going on?
14
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,430
It would seem that
this Roman 'ere came -
15
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,072
Shut up, Mungo.
16
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,917
Well, this is
charming, isn't it?
17
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,303
I come back to me local
drinking din, after
18
00:02:22,315 --> 00:02:24,670
a hard day terrorising
neighbouring tribes,
19
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,711
and I can't get to the
bar for dead Romans.
20
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,832
He committed suicide. He
was depressed, homesick -
21
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:30,949
- Mungo...
- Shut up.
22
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,000
Correct.
23
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,031
Look at it from
my point of view.
24
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,117
I'm the tribe leader. I'm
in a position of trust.
25
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:40,550
The Romans rely on me to keep
the peace here in Chelmsford.
26
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,591
I mean...
27
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,024
if we went round stabbing
Romans whenever we
28
00:02:46,036 --> 00:02:48,192
felt like it there'd
be no Romans left...
29
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,231
to stab whenever
we felt like it.
30
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,591
Uh, Blag, apologise.
31
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:58,076
- Sorry, Badvoc.
- Not to me. To our ex-Roman friend.
32
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,031
- Sorry.
- Properly.
33
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,071
Sorry about you
being dead, Marcus.
34
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,917
Marcus?
35
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,712
They're all called
Marcus, in't they?
36
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,751
'Ere, Mungo?
37
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:11,554
I don't think Marcus is gonna need
financial support where he's going.
38
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,591
Oh, right.
39
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,196
Right, lads, the
drinks are on the wop.
40
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,511
Ah.
41
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:27,032
And then the other fella says, "Thank God
for that. I thought me hump had burst."
42
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:32,833
Badvoc?
43
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,155
- Ah, Functio.
- Can we have a word in private?
44
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,872
Eh?
45
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,144
Don't worry about this lot.
Just use words of
46
00:05:39,156 --> 00:05:41,391
more than two syllables.
They won't understand.
47
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,318
There's been a general
breakdown in law and order.
48
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,955
Your men are swaggering around
Chelmsford brandishing swords.
49
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,991
Now, there's a law against that.
50
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,396
The Lex... Lex um...
51
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,431
The Lex lulia de Vi Publica
52
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:59,189
which forbids Brits from carrying
offensive weapons without authorisation.
53
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:01,629
- Yes.
- Never heard of it.
54
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,195
Yes, well, I've just seen one of
the Roman garrison butchered.
55
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,834
Literally butchered
by one of your men.
56
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,075
Butchered by one of my men?
Which one?
57
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,792
Ralph.
58
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,910
Oh, that's all right.
He's a butcher.
59
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:17,714
He's got a stall down the market place.
Blag, drink for Functio.
60
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,751
Oh, all right.
61
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,839
How's that, then?
62
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,354
You think you've got problems.
Go on, shift up.
63
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,470
It's no use trying to
get round me, Badvoc.
64
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,511
I've known you too long.
65
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,678
When I first came here ten years ago
from Rome to serve with the Ninth Legion
66
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:39,110
there was peace, we
lived in harmony.
67
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:43,392
That's why I settled here, that's
why I married one of your tribe.
68
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,113
I thought it was because
you put her up the duff.
69
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,711
Functio, OK, listen...
70
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,513
Look at it this way. Did
we ask to be invaded?
71
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,152
- No.
- No.
72
00:06:56,200 --> 00:07:00,239
And besides, before your lot came
it was Briton killing Briton.
73
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,033
Now it's Briton killing Roman.
74
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,150
- So you see, for us it's progress.
- Exactly.
75
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:10,278
Yes, well, I've sent word to Rome. A
new governor must be sent forthwith.
76
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,647
We don't need a new governor.
We've managed perfectly
77
00:07:13,659 --> 00:07:16,998
well since the last one...
unfortunately...
78
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,031
- Departed. Departed.
79
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,310
Departed? Dispatched,
more likely.
80
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,351
It was an accident.
81
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,470
- He, uh, choked.
- Choked.
82
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,511
On his own foot?
83
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,954
Well, I told him he shouldn't
bite his toenails.
84
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,991
Uh, game of
Knucklebones, anyone?
85
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,228
Be careful, Badvoc.
86
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:41,229
The next man they send might just bring
you to your knees, begging for mercy.
87
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,871
Baa!
88
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:43,991
It's very kind of you, Badvoc, to play
Knucklebones with a poor old blind man.
89
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,709
All part of my duty
as your tribal chief.
90
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,433
Yeah, it is very nice of
him, cos a lot of people
91
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,631
must take advantage of your lack
of sight in games of chance.
92
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:56,797
Mungo, isn't there a tin
mine you can fall down?
93
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,271
Right, my throw.
94
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,997
Oh, bad luck, Badvoc.
Double dog.
95
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,031
Bad luck, Blag?
What can you mean?
96
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:11,790
That's a double Venus, the highest
available score in Knucklebones.
97
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,879
Another double Venus, Badvoc!
Amazing luck you're having.
98
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:19,390
Yes, the gods are smiling on me.
It's all in the wrist, you see.
99
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:26,318
I have good news - the new governor has
landed in Britain, and is on his way.
100
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,078
Thought you had some good news.
101
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,157
It is good news for every
right-thinking person in this province.
102
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,191
Both of them?
103
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,515
Get your swords now.
104
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:39,439
Finest weaponry. Badvoc!
105
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:45,316
Look at that sword. Finest weaponry.
Cut through a Roman like butter.
106
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,272
Finest... cutlery. Cut
through butter like butter.
107
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,709
Not just now, Ankroll. Thanks.
All right, mate.
108
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,639
But the best news of all - the man
they've sent is Aulus Paulinus.
109
00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,514
A fine general and an old friend,
and this calls for a celebration.
110
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:04,235
That's very good of you. A mug of ale for
me and Mungo, and a bucket for Blag.
111
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,909
This one 'ere, Badvoc,
it's a work of art.
112
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,349
It will turn a massacre
into a masterpiece.
113
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,594
I'm not interested.
114
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,599
It's so sharp it will slice through
a man without him even knowing it.
115
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,103
What's the point of that?
When I slice through
116
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,430
somebody I want them to know about it.
I want -
117
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,948
Badvoc, a toast to the future
118
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,675
in which Romans and
Britons live in harmony.
119
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,711
The future.
120
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,270
This man Aulus Paulinus, what
sort of bloke is he, then?
121
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,311
Oh, he's an amazing man.
122
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,511
He's courageous, bold... He
has the heart of a lion.
123
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,152
The eyes of a hawk.
124
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,589
I see. He collects bits
of animals, does he?
125
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,991
You'll need more than your dry British
humour when Aulus Paulinus gets here.
126
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,949
Here, Ankroll... I want
some of your finest swords.
127
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,037
These ones are real beauties.
Razor-sharp.
128
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,356
One quick launch, and it's in.
Look. Look at this.
129
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,551
What do you think?
130
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,199
It's not bad.
131
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,800
Not bad? Not bad?!
132
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,434
Look at the craftsmanship
on that handle.
133
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,470
Oh, all right, I'll
have half a dozen.
134
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,433
Right. That'll be...
500... sesterce.
135
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,438
500 sesterce? That's
a bit steep, innit?
136
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,631
I've got to make a
living, haven't I?
137
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,671
Oh, all right.
138
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,711
- I'll pay you when I see you.
- Right...
139
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,359
That Ankroll, great salesman.
140
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,391
I reckon the job's killing him.
141
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,868
Can't you go any faster?
142
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,911
Come on, you lazy scum - pull!
143
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,951
Pull!
144
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,318
Please...
145
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,920
Why do we have to have German
slaves pulling our chariot?
146
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,918
Because they're more economical
than Gauls, that's why.
147
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,269
You get more miles to
slave with a German.
148
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,753
This rain, my God!
149
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,712
When I think of the years I spent
trying to cultivate a good tan,
150
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,911
and what happens - I end
up in this shitholey.
151
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,273
This what?
152
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,470
Shitholey.
153
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,510
I think you'll find the
word's pronounced shith-ole.
154
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,357
Shith-ole.
155
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,960
Stupid language. Why do we
have to speak it anyway?
156
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,309
It's the Treaty of Occupation.
When in Rome...
157
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,447
These peasants should be
forced to learn Latin,
158
00:14:50,459 --> 00:14:52,558
otherwise it'll end up
as a dead language.
159
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,591
- Rubbish.
- Look at that!
160
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,232
What does that mean?
161
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,271
Piss off Romans.
162
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,231
I'm not familiar with
the construction.
163
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,271
It's something Romani, isn't it?
164
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,311
Uh... piss off...
165
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,430
It's probably a word
of welcome, yes.
166
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:11,873
Like we say salvete Romani,
they say "Piss off, Romans".
167
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,718
- Piss off, Grasientus.
- Piss off, Aulus.
168
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,751
I like that. Piss off, Romans.
169
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,991
Come on, Badvoc.
Hurry up and throw.
170
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,111
Badvoc?
171
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,151
Well, say something.
172
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,796
Oh, my God! I've gone
deaf as well as blind.
173
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,549
Help! Somebody?
174
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,318
He's gone.
175
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,311
Thank heavens for that.
176
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,351
Is this one dead?
177
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,873
Badvoc?
178
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,154
Badvoc?
179
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,033
Where is he? Where's Badvoc?
180
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:54,676
After he bought the swords off Ankroll
he went off with some of his colleagues.
181
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,030
Talking about a welcoming committee
for the new Roman governor.
182
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,837
Oh, my God!
183
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,599
This is bad news. There's
gonna be big trouble.
184
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,950
I must get some of the veterans together.
There could be bloodshed.
185
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,991
Drink before you go?
186
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,031
For God's sake, man!
187
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,709
The new governor's about to be ambushed
and killed by the local tribal leader,
188
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:20,709
leading to what could be full-scale war,
and all you can talk about is drink!
189
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,832
Oh, my God, this is terrible!
I need a drink.
190
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,310
So much for your
tough German slaves.
191
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,352
Well, how was I to know they
all had defective hearts?
192
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,318
Look, just shut up and push.
193
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:41,478
- You mean shut up and pull.
- Yes, whatever. Bloody stupid language.
194
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:45,878
Agghhh!
195
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,194
What is it now?
196
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,435
I've got a splinter
in my finger.
197
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,471
It's tiny.
198
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,151
Ridiculous.
199
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,512
Look, just hold still.
200
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,437
Look, there we are.
201
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,471
There we are, there...
202
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,231
Salute Romani.
203
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,318
Nos multi...
204
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,232
- multi-syme...
- Multissime.
205
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,271
Multissimay...
206
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,631
What's happening?
207
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,671
He's trying to speak Latin.
208
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,231
Uh, no... Fellow?
209
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,271
It's all right. You see...
210
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:04,359
We... speak... British.
211
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,313
Oh, charming.
212
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:13,150
I am Badvoc, leader
of the Trinovantes.
213
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,078
We are here to welcome
you to Chelmsford.
214
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,111
Hello.
215
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,755
As a token of our goodwill we
would like to bestow upon you
216
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:26,749
these six swords crafted by our
finest swordsmith, the great Ankroll.
217
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,791
- The late Ankroll.
- Shut up.
218
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,278
Well, well, well...
219
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,071
What great kindness.
220
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,918
We are indeed honoured to
be greeted in such a way.
221
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:41,112
We had heard that you Britons were
a rough, dishonourable bunch.
222
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,391
These gifts, well...
223
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,431
Agghhh!
224
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,188
My friends, get down!
It's a trap!
225
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,191
I will save you. Fear not!
226
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,231
Functio, what the hell
are you doing here?
227
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,597
Badvoc, stop this
ambush at once.
228
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,837
Functio, you pillock - it's not an
ambush, it's a welcoming committee.
229
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,836
What about the swords?
230
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,270
A welcome to Chelmsford
present, you great wassock.
231
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,598
Oh, dear...
232
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:15,914
Sorry.
233
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,471
You've killed two of my men.
234
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,715
I'm sorry, Badvoc.
235
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,751
Two of my best men.
236
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,598
I have done you a great wrong.
237
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,631
You certainly have.
238
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,791
I paid them in advance.
239
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,070
I wonder if they've spent it yet.
Let's have a look.
240
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,591
Welcome to Wass' Tavern.
241
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,029
Ugghh! This is no place
for the human being.
242
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,833
You should be all right, then,
shouldn't you, Grasientus?
243
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,950
Aulus, mate, come and
meet some of the tribe.
244
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,514
- Mungo.
- Greetings. I didn't catch the name.
245
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,835
- They call me Mungo the Contradictory.
- Do they?
246
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,871
No.
247
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,751
He's got a wicked
sense of humour.
248
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,995
- Greetings, fellow.
- Hello, Marcus.
249
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,031
Marcus, this is Blag.
250
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,071
Ah, Blag.
251
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,873
That's an odd name, isn't it?
Is it short for something?
252
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,798
Yeah, it's short for the
great fat dozy git Blag.
253
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:11,753
- Ah, drink, gentlemen?
- Excellent. This is our taverner Wass.
254
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,268
- Greetings.
- Pleased to meet you.
255
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,709
- Does he do that all the time?
- Yes. A nervous tick.
256
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,832
Oh, there you are, you see. That's
the source of my confusion.
257
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:25,876
When he said you'd taken the swords - wink
wink - to give to Aulus - wink wink -
258
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,911
I thought...
259
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,471
You're a pillock, Functio.
260
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,954
Yes, my wife says that.
261
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,956
Ah, Gargamadua.
262
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,433
Hello, there.
263
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,311
What the hell are
you doing here?
264
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,147
Well, as the girlfriend of
the local tribal leader,
265
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,957
it seems only right I
should meet the Governor.
266
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,195
- What's it got to do with you?
- You never know...
267
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,037
He might take a fancy to me.
268
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,149
What?
269
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,998
He might ask me to go and
work at the Governor's villa.
270
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,555
Could be useful for you to have a
spy in the Roman headquarters.
271
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,275
Don't be ridiculous. If you had to
work for him, and were in his...
272
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:02,594
and he...
273
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,351
That's very clever for a woman.
274
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,149
- You should have been a man, you know.
- So should you.
275
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,235
Pardon?
276
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,396
I'm sure he could find
a position for me.
277
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,431
I'm sure he could find several.
278
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,465
You know what these
Romans are like - he
279
00:21:22,477 --> 00:21:24,433
probably just wants to
give you one, dirty -
280
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,075
Aulus, this is my
betrothed, Gargamadua.
281
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,112
You're a very fortunate
man, Badvoc.
282
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:36,591
I am ashamed, Gargamadua, to have
only human words at my disposal.
283
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,315
Fragile and inadequate attempts
to describe your pulchritude.
284
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:45,070
I doubt very much that nature's magic
wand could conjure up a replica
285
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,111
of such peerless beauty.
286
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,037
He wants to give me one.
287
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,752
Yeah.
288
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:55,237
OK, Aulus, I'm sure my betrothed is
very honoured by your kind words.
289
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,271
Go and make me dinner.
290
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:04,875
Aulus, now that the elders are assembled I
think it right that you say a word or two.
291
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,911
How about goodbye?
292
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,951
Shut up, Grasientus.
293
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,671
People of Chelmsford...
294
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:20,434
I am overwhelmed by the warmth
and affection of this welcome.
295
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,434
I...
296
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,789
I know that Britain is
not as great as Rome,
297
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:33,436
although I predict that one day
she will be as great as...
298
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,471
Syria.
299
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,479
Or Cappadocia, or perhaps,
who knows, even Malta.
300
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,434
And so, in honour of this
auspicious occasion,
301
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,678
I would like to give you a
greeting in your own fair tongue.
302
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:52,036
And so I say to you, Britons...
303
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:58,752
piss off. Ripped By mstoll